This morning, after I calmly suggested that I wasn’t getting enough help around the house and perhaps it was time to bring the cleaners back, a member of my family (who shall remain nameless) suggested I had been “triggered” by the sinks in the kitchen.
Is there anything more triggering than being told you were triggered?
In full mom-melt down mode, I stormed through the house pointing out all of my triggers – the dust that was cascading down the stairs, the shoes that were strewn throughout the house, the laundry scattered around the guest room waiting for “someone” to put it away, the two Roombas calling for “someone” to put them back in their docks, the dog barf on the carpet upstairs that I stepped in because no one cleaned it up, the trash piling up in my car, the crust that has formed in one of the bathroom sinks and the stray floss that never makes it into the garbage can, and need I say it to anyone who has been following my misadventures. . . the pile of mail on the counter that WAS STILL UNOPENED.
So was I triggered? Yup. Sooooo triggered.
But it’s not by one thing. It’s by all the things. And the feeling that, more often than not, if I’m the one changing to accommodate the people in our house. Finances not getting handled properly? I took it over. Cleaners stressing out the dog and my husband? I took it over. Mail not getting opened. You got it, I (generally) took it over.
Going over our to-do lists this past weekend with the kids, I pointed out that they shouldn’t complain because my list was so much longer. Their response? “That’s because you are mom. It’s your job.”
Which is bullshit.
Cleaning the house, in particular, is not my job. It’s our job.
My job is to tell my husband and kids what we need to do, and then not do it myself because it’s not happening fast enough, or because I don’t want to hear the complaints, or because someone will accuse me of being “triggered.”
We have a family meeting scheduled for this weekend because something is going to change. And if they complain? They will finally understand what “triggered mom” looks like.