Sitting in the reading room (okay, fine, I was in the bathroom), scrolling through headlines I was struck by this one – ‘Pose’ Star Criticizes Media for “Body-Shaming” Her at Golden Globes (because she was ranked on several “worst dressed lists. Reading the article, I wondered if anyone would come up to someone, in person, and say “you look beautiful, but you are probably one of the worst dressed here tonight.”
Of course not! Which got me thinking – there are some things that we really need to kill in 2019. On my list:
Best and Worst Dressed Lists
The lists are completely subjective, arbitrary, insulting, and as noted above, would never be something you’d say to someone’s face. Or, put another way, how would you feel if someone put a list together of the best and worst dressed after a school fundraiser?
Paparazzi Pics
Having just confessed that I spend too much time scrolling through the screens on my news app, I try to avoid any article where a celebrity is pictured “in the wild” – shopping, walking, eating, scooping poop – you know, generally living their lives. I don’t care what others say, people who entertain us for a living did not sign up for giving up their entire lives for our viewing and judgment. So how about we let them live their lives – with or without makeup – and we live ours?
Brand Fascination and Judgement
I recently learned from our children about a meme where people, both online and in person, claim they “don’t speak poverty” (or broke, or whatever) when speaking to someone who doesn’t own a pair of Apple AirPods (or sends a text from something other than an iPhone).
I’m really hoping someone says it to me soon just so I can tell them “Sorry? I don’t catch that as I don’t speak asshole” but until then, can we all just get ourselves and our fascination with brands?
We KNOW that we often pay more just for the name on the tag – how about we stop talking about brand names and start talking about value, choices and not being judgemental jackwagons?
Pretending Our Kids Can’t Be Assholes
This week I observed a teenager tell a grownup on Instagram to “STFU” because she dared disagree with not what the child said, but how they said it. Add that to the brand fascination and meme from above and well, I’m starting to worry we may be raising a bunch of assholes.
No, they aren’t assholes all the time, in fact, most of the time most children are amazing, but we do a disservice to them (and ourselves) if we don’t acknowledge the times they are not our best selves.
Pretending We Can’t Be Assholes
Last year, just as the elevator doors at work started to close, I noticed a delivery person struggling through the front door, clearly heading towards me. Did I hold the elevator, giving him time to get inside? Nope.
As the doors closed I thought. . . I am such an asshole.
It would have taken me a few moments to make a difference in someone’s day, and I chose not to. It wasn’t my finest moment, which I did try to make up with an apology sent to customer service.
Pretending Cyclists Are Not People You Know
You know what’s a good way to make a cyclist go crazy? Show them the comments thread on any article related to traffic accidents involving cyclists, or related to any changes in traffic to accommodate cyclists. What do you think the percentage of comments are some variation on “cyclists are assholes and they deserve what they get.”
Yes, some cyclists can be assholes (really, how often do we need to cover this?). We are not, however, faceless, nameless automatons, pedaling too and fro without thought or regard for the safety of ourselves and others.
We are people you know. So stay off your phone. Watch the road. Give space and take your time. And before you say something stupid online about how they deserve to die, ask yourself this – are you being an asshole?
I guess that’s about it for this round – although I have a funny feeling I’ll be playing this game again.
How about you? What would you like to see “end” in 2019?
“If you meet an asshole in the morning, he’s an asshole. If you meet assholes all day long, you’re an asshole.”
I’m willing to grant celebrities their personal space/time. No grocery shopping pics. But if they’re going to step on the red carpet flaunting themselves, best/worst dressed is fair game. Fat/ugly/other name-calling? No way, that’s off limits, but if a rich celebrity says “look at me,” they can hardly complain.
I’m trying to rid my speech of “kind of” and “sort of,” which snuck in as weasel qualifiers to avoid having to be precise … and then didn’t leave.
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“Kind of” and “Sort of” are very good items for the list!
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