Almost every Friday morning my husband gets out of bed at 5 am to join a ride with friends and clients. I don’t often join him because I don’t like to get up early and because I find the ride to be intimidating. The group, while very friendly, is big. And fast.
For me to keep up, even with the slowest group, requires pace-lining, or drafting, my husband. Riding in his slipstream, with his rear wheel and my front wheel very close together, allows me to keep up a much faster pace than I would normally be able to maintain and avoid embarrassment.
Joining the ride this morning, the second time in two weeks, I considered what’s required for me and my husband to ride together in this manner – love and trust.
First, the love. My husband is a very fast rider. He easily could be hammering it out with the A group on Friday mornings. But instead, he sticks with me, pulling me along and obsessively checking that I’m still on his wheel. It may not seem like much to some, but for me this attention and support is better than any bouquet of flowers or piece of jewelry.
Then, the trust. Sticking on his wheel means I can’t see anything in front of me. I don’t know if he’s braking. I’m not sure where we are turning. I can’t see if there are holes, cracks or other issues on the road. I have to let go and give up a bit of control, and when it becomes too much, give myself some space.
As I rode I also found myself thinking about our 20-year marriage, and how our best days are those where we get the balance – love and trust – correct, and together we can go fast (or accomplish anything).
Photo: Stealing Lea Davison’s motto – Happiness is Fast – as seen on the mug I received earlier this year at Bittersweet Women’s Weekend.